Mammogram Hysteria

While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say "Your Honor, I'm guilty but..... There were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too, so I listened as the lady told her story. "Your Honour, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?" I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap! Complete darkness, the power was off! Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise grip alone are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy... The door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire," found me... standing on my tip-toes, half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?" And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed"

Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what!

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a turkey sandwich.

He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating turkey, don't you like it anymore?' She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'
'Why?' he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'

'Let me see' he said .
'Okay' and she showed him. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more turkey.'

He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut butter sandwich instead. He said to the little girl, 'I have to stop eating turkey sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he showed her!

She said ,
'Oh, my God, it's too late for you !

You've already got the NECK and Giblets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just in time for Christmas!!!

Hurry and get yours before supplies run out! Have a lasting memory and reminder to see everyday. Especially every time you think about voting again.

Why Should You Consider Network Marketing?

Network Marketing is gaining acceptance on an unprecedented scale. Major corporations are adopting the network marketing distribution model. Why? Because it works! Still, the term “MLM” (which stand for Multi-Level Marketing) still conjures up images of pyramids, words like “scheme” or “scam”, and stories of someone’s uncle/friend/brother who “got in to one of those deals”.
So for the purpose of this article, let’s agree to use this definition from an article at forbes.com:

MLM is a marketing strategy in which the sales force is compensated 

not only for sales they personally generate, but also for the salesof others 

they recruit, creating a downline of distributors and a hierarchy of 

multiple levels of compensation. Most commonly, the salespeople are expected

to sell products directly to consumers by means of relationship referrals 

and word of mouth marketing.

Companies like Mary Kay, Avon, Tupperware, etc… have been successfully utilizing the Network Marketing distribution model for decades.
Top Income Moguls such as Warren Buffet, Donald Trump, Robert Kiyosaki, and more have endorsed and/or owned network marketing companies.
So it should come as no surprise that more and more people are looking at network marketing as a viable business possibility. The question is: Why?
“Money” seems to be the obvious answer. But when you really weigh it out, it’s not really about the money.
Of course, we want our businesses to grow. Of course we absolutely want/desire/crave/need more money. But dig a little deeper. Money isn’t the goal. Money is really nothing more than a resource you use to achieve or acquire your goals.
So you really want to sit down and decide what it is that you want from your  network marketing business.
For some folks, that may mean a more extravagant lifestyle. Cars, homes, boats, and all those fun things.
For others, it may be that the goal is to simply alleviate some of the financial pressure they  may be under.
We love to read and hear those rags-to-riches stories about someone who went from the brink of homelessness to become a multi-millionaire in record time. Those are great stories and many of them are actually true! Well, the part about them achieving success is true. The “record time” part doesn’t take in to account the years they spent learning their craft and honing their skills before they became “overnight success stories”.
But we tend to skip right past stories of the family that was able to get themselves out of financial trouble by simply creating an additional $500 per month in income with a part-time network marketing business they ran on the side.
Maybe your goals are more along that line of thinking. Maybe you want to pay down some credit card debt, update the family car, set aside some money for retirement, or finally take a nice vacation.
Whatever your situation may be, more and more people are discovering network marketing as one of the possible (and relatively simpler) ways to make those things happen.
Compared to traditional businesses, a network marketing business is incredibly inexpensive to start up. In my experience, typical start up costs can range from a few hundred dollars to maybe a couple thousand dollars to open your new business. Try that with a traditional business model!
I encourage you to take a moment to review the articles and listings on this site. If you are looking for a home based business opportunity, you may find it right here in these pages through one of our advertisers. If you already have a business you are wanting to build, you can find some incredibly helpful resources right here in these pages, as well.
Whatever your situation, I sincerely wish you the level of success that you desire. Feel free to post any comments and/or questions for me and I will do my best to respond quickly.

The "Way-Back" Attic

For those of you that remember Maypo, will probably agree that it was the most awful tasting stuff on the planet....but they sure could sell it!

Wow, so Kennedy was not assassinated after all! Hmmmm....?

He was killed by his own security guy accidentally. How disgusting though the extent to which the secret service covered up the whole thing including removing the presidents brain. Amazing that it has taken 50 years for one forensic to prove the case beyond reasonable doubt. It is disgusting that the state themselves should cover up such atrocities.

 This is apparently the first time a forensic has had access to all of the information and believe me it is absolutely compelling evidence, the bullets that Oswald used were military bullets - designed to travel distance it had to and still have the velocity to pass through two men. The bullet that killed him was the type of bullet that explodes on entry hence how the damage was so great and his brains were everywhere. I am aware of the conspiracy rumours over the years but this is so detailed and even shows the security guard standing up in the vehicle with the gun. He had released the safety catch and as the car moved off he inadvertently shot JFK. The point is if it was LHO bullet it also would have passed through. I have no doubt LHO fired the first two shots but the security guy who died in 2005 fired the fatal blow albeit accidentally. Why do you think his brain was missing and no autopsy was allowed? The pathologist would have known LHO bullet could not cause the damage and the entry would was too small for a bullet from LHO.

  I still doubt this program as none of this is reported in the US in papers like the NY Times and Washington Post .. There are well over 1000 classified documents about the assassination that hasn't been released .. They will be released in 2017 because of a bill/ law passed by President Bush in 1992... Some may never be made public as it will interfere with National security, CIA etc.. But now I have read what you have written about this program, I will be watching for more that will be said as this 50th anniversary of Kennedy's death will be Nov 22... A lot in the news and will be more as the 22 is almost here.

My guess is this is another case of sensationalism or yellow journalism or just another hoax. I know little about British televison but do know when something stinks.

"Yuck-Yuck" Time

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon,... approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."