"Yuck-Yuck" Time

Two young boys were in the hospital sharing a room. After introducing each other, one asked the other..."Why are you here?" The other boy replied, "I am in here to get a tonsillectomy..why are you here?" The other boy replied, "I am here for a circumcision." 

The first boy exclaimed, "OH NO! You poor guy. I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for eighteen months!!"

General Electric is on top of things.

I was just released today on the news that General Electric has invested 15 billion dollars into research on improving methods and environmental safety with "fracking".It is time for America to take advantage of it's own natural resources and stop depending on foreign countries for fossil fuel. There has been a research laboratory hub set up right in the center of the oil industry..Oklahoma City and is going full steam ahead. Horizontal drilling and tapping into our own natural gas and oil reserves is about to launch America into a new age or economic growth. The environmentalists have a hidden agenda to stop all fossil fuel drilling but GE is on top of the game and one of the first to jump in and get this economy going again. Kudo's GE !!! General Electric does not drill for oil or gas but is already very strong in the nuclear and solar power industry. Some are concerned about the water and do not want any horizontal drilling done and some are asleep at the wheel like New York and California and are really dragging their feet with tapping into their own natural resources. The "tree huggers" always find something to carry a sign about and always will. Who knows, with fracking creating new jobs and money, maybe some of these people with nothing better to do can get a job and not have time to bore us all with their protesting.

Hypocrisy

Do as I say and Not as I do! There is a huge campaign nationwide to "X" the Text and do not use your cell while driving. I find this just about normal behavior.

Happy Memorial Day

We all have lost someone we love at one time or another and this is a great time to remember them! It makes no difference where in the world YOU live. Our troops overseas, our veterans here in the USA and everyone on the planet that has lost a loved one or country that has lost a soldier...Let's think of them today!

The "Way-Back" Attic

I remember, as a kid, seeing this commercial and immediately asking Santa for this miracle of modern technology. I thought, "Wow..voice recognition!" only to be disappointed to learn it was only a piece of thin metal that would blow back to turn the robot on with the air from your voice. This feature did not stay sensitive for more than a couple of days and eventually having to blow hard enough to put out a campfire. I was greatly disappointed that the fighter jets and tanks did not come with the toy as well. Nonetheless, was a happy and satisfied Christmas receiver that year and my friends were fascinated. Sadly, the robot quit working one day but only after already losing all my bombs to throw and rockets to launch...one of which feel victim to the dog that thought it was a chew toy. I am well pleased though to see what REAL technology can do in my lifetime. To see and remember this old commercial, brought back many memories and a smile to my face and thought I would share it with you here.

K Mart does it Again!

Another hilarious ad campaign with a play on words that has gone VIRAL!

Here is their 1st one that was a winner online.



Here is their newest one that is going viral!

The "Way-Back" Attic

How many here remember this? When I was a kid, this and the cartoons, t-shirts and models were
very popular. I must have had 100 of them. Have not seen this in years. Was sorry to find out the Ed "Big Daddy" Roth had passed on. Fun childhood memories!





 
Ed "Big Daddy" Roth (March 4, 1932 – April 4, 2001) was an artist, cartoonist, pinstriper and custom car designer and builder who created the hot-rod icon Rat Fink and other extreme characters. Roth was a key figure in Southern California's Kustom Kulture and hot-rod movement of the late 1950s and 1960s.

"Yuck-Yuck" Time

An old guy was walking down the street when he glanced down and saw an unusual looking frog. The frog said "kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess and we'll make passionate love all night." The old guy picks up the frog and keeps walking, as the frog says, "didn't you hear me?" The old guy replied that at this point in his life he'd rather have a talking frog....

Moore, Oklahoma tornado, May 20, 2013

As I drink coffee on the front porch here at 4am, the air is still, the owls are hooting, the wind chimes are quiet and the crickets are having their symphony. Would make one believe all is well. Just to the north, this is happening! I have not seen anything like this in 20 years and it was just last week the same thing happened in North Texas as well.  Today there is another chance of these super cells popping up and is as far down, this time, as where I am. What is going on? Most of North America this year had no Spring, but going from Winter to Summer with freezing temperatures and snow in May! Is this the end times or just part of a cycle that happens every few years? I am not one to speculate or have any idea, but I do know that in all of my years on this planet, I have not seen the earth do this so often as now. The tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, super storms, earthquakes, softball sized hail and even 20 mile an hour winds long after the sun has gone down...without a storm in the area. Is something BIG about to come our way? Is this the forerunner to something more? We will all just have to wait and see and I hope that all reading this are in line spiritually for it is going to take more than just "man" to get the world through this! My prayers go out to the families that lost property and lost family members, not only yesterday but all the other events that have happened recently. Just when we think things are a little calm in nature, man goes nuts and starts shooting people at movie theaters and schools or fertilizer plants explode or two kids blow up a marathon. Then nature starts up again with it's devastation...whew! I do not know what is to come next but do know that the days of "Leave it to Beaver" are now long gone. I think today, right now, is as good as it is going to get and will be a downward cycle into worse. It sure appears that way. I am usually a very positive person and still try to be, but this all leaves me baffled and a little nervous about waking up each day as to what will be next!

A RULE of Thumb to Avoid Being Scammed Online

In our economic times, every day of the week 1000's are beginning to try their hand at success in a work at home job...which is normally Online! There have always been a problem with scams and fake offers online and in the postal system. Now it has become viral and a virus in lives. Ponzi schemes, pyramids, identity theft and just altogether lies that rob you are everywhere. The "newbies" especially are vulnerable to these offers. The game is to normally offer something unbelievable for making BIG money fast. They pay a few times to people to show credibility (often no one gets paid EVER) and then disappear off the planet. Oh sure, they will come back like herpes, under a different name, but the fact remains, they want your money and you want their promises of commission, but there is always only one winner here. At least one time anyway!

Most of the experienced people don't sucker in even the first time. It is not those that the criminals are after...it is the newbies.

"Make $1000 a day starting TODAY!"
"I made $500,000 in 3 months and you can too!"
" A secret the gurus don't want you to know!"
"Get PAID sign ups added to your downline and we do the work!"
"Make $5,000 this month and sign up for FREE!"
...continue reading

WOW! About the time I think life sux!

I am reminded of how good things really are and how they could be. Makes me thankful!

DobroDawg-onics

How to start an argument online. 1) Express your opinion  2) Wait

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

"Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether"

Smile: if you can’t lift the corners, let the middle sag.

As the dog sat watching the orchestra, he stared at the conductor and thought.. "Just throw the F#!@%&! thing."  

I had an embarrassing moment at WalMart today. Apparently, when the girl at the checkout said "Strip down facing me" She meant my debit card! 

Gotta Love Natural Talent!

This is a video from a while back but still think it is cool and I can't seem to find anything new that is interesting to talk about. Kind of a boring week.
I still hope you enjoy this little booger for he has rhythm that I always wished I had...and I am a musician!!  I think most of us have, at one time or another, banged on stuff....but this kid is ROCKS!

I can relate to this one!

About the time we all think that the police have no heart or compassion..I see something like this! It is a reminder that we are all human, regardless of our stature, fame, or occupation. Just like Angelina Jolie this past week with her problems...we all think she is a thing on the screen and is not really real, here comes a video like this!
I can relate myself. There is a rooster that irritates me to no end every morning here. Not only does he crow way too early, but his hens come here to feed and sometimes visit and this makes him so jealous. Once again, he begins to crow and carry on like a jealous "macho"!

The other day, a visiting dog took after him! The poor little fool...I had no idea this rascal could run so fast! Is one of these roosters, no idea the name, that have feathers on their feet and look like paddle boats coming at you. Is an unfriendly cuss, still I reacted! I separated the two, but the rooster kept on truckin'. Later, I heard it crowing...lost as could be. long story short...it found it's way home...minus some tail feathers.
Anyway people, here is my point...Hope you dig this video!

ONLINE MARKETERS...This is for You!

Like myself, many people throughout the world have turned to working at home and trying their hand at online marketing. It has become a big industry and even people with a full time job are now trying to get a business going online. There are now 2,250,000 people and growing daily, worldwide marketing online. Annual household income in the U.S. is $50,233.00, compared to average male income of $45,113 and female income of $35,102.
According to the CIA Factbook, the average per capita income in the world is $5,500 to $8,200, depending on the method used to determine the number. On the other hand, the cost of living and unemployment everywhere has skyrocketed, especially in the past decade. This has caused many to begin seeking an income online and has not only flooded the market but opened doors to every type of scam imaginable.

With this though, also come the window shoppers and the tire kickers. Those that are looking for the get rich quick scheme, which is non-existent, and those that cannot wrap their head around the word "work" in work-at-home. We all get these nauseating people...there is no avoiding it!
There is a new ad campaign from KIA that is every marketers fantasy to be able to do with these losers. I enjoyed it and hope you do as well!

Gas pump prank becomes internet sensation!

We have all become accustomed to those pump tv screens chattering at us while we wait to finish pumping our over-priced gasoline. But what if one of them started talking directly to you? Such was the  "Tonight Show" prank, in which a talking head on a gas pump screen started bantering with Will Sims. Sims took the prank in-stride and then, with the help of his wife, Monifa, the couple hit it with some impromptu karaoke! Good job people!

Here is a cool idea for entertaining your young kids or grandkids!

HOMEMADE PLAYDOUGH


Ingredients:

1 cup flour
1 cup water
2 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/3 cup salt
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
food coloring

Instructions:

Mix together all the ingredients, except the food coloring, in a 2 quart saucepan. Cook over low/medium heat, stirring. Once it begins to thicken, add the food coloring. Continue stirring until the mixture is much thicker and begins to gather around the spoon.

Remove the dough onto wax paper or a plate to cool....
 

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the Mothers who have endured all of our BS over the years or just beginning...I salute You! The time spent being fat and uncomfortable was only the start of a lifetime journey. Realizing of course, that you were screwed into that situation. For all the kissed "boo-boos", the band-aids, the sitting through school plays that were like watching a hammer rust, the sports events, the comforted tears and soothing nurturing, the broken things that no one would admit to breaking, the college tuition, the secret money slipped to us after Dad said NO and accepting the fact that kids are like herpes...they COME BACK!  For all the love you give unconditionally....Happy Mother's  Day! You are loved and appreciated.

Shimmy flash mobs??

About the time I was convinced you couldn't get any more foolish than flash mobs, I see Shimmy Flash mobs! What is it? Flash mobs that belly dance. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if these women were in good shape...but from what I have seen so far, most of them do not know when to push away from the dinner table. Too much wiggling and jiggling around for me... and in public too. Well, God Bless them for it looks like they are having fun. I just wish they wouldn't have fun where I could see it.

This KID amazes me! WOW can she ROCK!

I have been a musician for longer than many of your parents are old and once in awhile I stumble across a prodigy. This lil' kid here...now 18...can really knock the socks off a fretboard. Hope you enjoy!

People in this State make me laugh!

I live in a bilingual state where 43% of the population is hispanic. Even with this being true, there are many, many here that are not bilingual. This is a make believe account of something that happened at work to a man that I found hilarious. To give a little background before hand, there is an ugly expression used "pinche maricon" which literally translates to "f..#..g faggot". The story goes as follows:

I don't speak Spanish, but everyone at my work does. They have a nickname for me that I would like translated.
They always call me "Merry Cone", whatever that means. Sometimes it is "Peachy Merry Cone". I tell them I prefer the flavor orange and they just laugh at me. I think it must be some kind of ice cream maybe they have in Mexico that they do not have here. I am just glad that whatever it means, it makes everyone happy and laugh.

I guess being simple is a handicap for some people!

"Yuck-Yuck" Time

A guy gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and says "Honey, pack your bags...I won the

Lottery!"
The wife says, "Wow! That's great! I am so happy! Should I pack for the ocean, the islands or the mountains?"
He says, "I don't care. Just get the heck out!!"

Sad but true.....getting old sucks!

Another good example that the quote from Carol Burnett was true. "When we get old enough to get our head together, our a** falls apart!"

A Texan’s Map of the United States

Is logical to me!!

First time in History..Vatican hosting two Popes

Pope Francis personally received retired pope Benedict XVI and prayed with him on Thursday upon his return to the Vatican where he will reside in a converted monastery. What??? Did he or did he not just have a big spectacular with his retirement and leaving the Vatican? This is not only the first time that two Popes are living but living together as well. Read Revelations folks....this is kinda weird!

Will they casually bump into each other while strolling the landscaped gardens of the tiny sovereign state of Vatican City? Or will they studiously avoid contact, to squelch any concerns about the potential influence — deliberate or not — that the retired pope may have on his successor?
It is a funny world we are living in now!

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the vatican rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in rome do like a roman,
Ave maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the vatican rag!

By: Tom Lehrer

B

No SPRING this year?

Seems Europe and North America will not have a Spring this year in 2013. Everything is green but why is it still cold in MAY? I have heard many reasons for this and the most far fetched it that the earth has changed the tilt on it's axis. It is said that the earth is off 26 degrees...which is FALSE. I have researched this and found no validity to this statement. The fact still remains that this is a ridiculous Spring. When I was a kid, I was already swimming this time of year. We are not having snow where I live, but many still are. In the south though, it is just not supposed to still be going into the 30's and 40's overnight. Nature is freaking out over it as well. I saw birds this winter, that are normally gone...STILL HERE! Why?

It’s possible to write this off as just an annual fluctuation in the weather, researchers have another explanation: climate change.
The year 2012 marked a record for loss of Arctic sea ice, according to The Ecologist website:

The Arctic ice loss adds heat to the ocean and atmosphere which shifts the position of the jet stream--the high-altitude river of air that steers storm systems and governs most weather in the Northern Hemisphere.

Shifts in the jet stream can have massive effects on the weather patterns of the Northern hemisphere, Jennifer Francis, of the Rutgers Institute of Coastal and Marine Science, told the Ecologist:

"It allows the cold air from the Arctic to plunge much further south." 
The heavy snowfall and freezing temperatures which have marked March 2013 across the Northern Hemisphere are in stark contrast to March 2012, when many countries experienced their warmest-ever springs. The hypothesis that wind patterns are being changed because melting Arctic sea ice has exposed huge swaths of normally frozen ocean to the atmosphere would explain both the extremes of heat and cold, say the scientists.

And of course, the end result of a shifting jet stream and changing ocean temperatures is something scientists have been saying on repeat for a while now: more extreme weather events.
"We are going to have more floods, we are going to have more sea surges, and we are going to have more storms," says Sir John Beddington, a scientific advisor to the U.K. government. "These are the sort of changes that are going to affect us in quite a short timescale."

Another answer to this, according to Wikipedia is:
A volcanic winter is the reduction in temperature caused by volcanic ash and droplets of sulfuric acid obscuring the sun and raising Earth's albedo (increasing the Earth's reflectivity of solar radiation) after a large particularly explosive type of volcanic eruption. Long-term cooling effects are primarily dependent upon injection of sulfide compounds in aerosol forms into the upper atmosphere—the stratosphere—the highest, least active levels of the lower atmosphere where little precipitation occurs, requiring a lengthy time to wash the aerosols out of the region. Stratospheric aerosols cool the surface and troposphere by reflecting solar radiation, warm the stratosphere by absorbing terrestrial radiation, and when combined with anthropogenic chlorine in the stratosphere, destroy ozone which moderates the effect of lower stratospheric warming. The variations in atmospheric warming and cooling results in changes in tropospheric and stratospheric circulation.

All I know is that it looks like many of us will go from Winter straight into Summer and it sucks! Not a thing we can do about it but I cannot find a satisfactory answer to what is going on.
I want SPRING!!!!

About the time we believe our life is a SNAFU!

I see a story like this one. The devasting wildfires that wiped out Bastrop, Texas on Labor Day here in the U.S. a couple of years ago were tremendous. The government agency called FEMA came to the rescue with many families and businesses....for while! I realize there is only so long funding and aid can be available, unless you are good at playing the system and having 5 kids out of wedlock by five different men...LOL. This story throws me off center. There is a man who has lived in Bastrop all of his life and worked there as a teacher for 30 years. I will not name him for have no clearance or release to do this. Three months before the wildfire took all he had and owned..home, possessions and memories...he was laid off....after thirty years mind you. Then he was wiped out even more. FEMA provided him an 12x32 foot trailer for two and a haf years....just like with the Katrina victims. They are now calling in their "note" and wanting this man to pay $1500 a month or be evicted. He still has not found work and does not have the money. He has applied for the government assistance grant for the victims there, but has yet to here anything from them and when tries to get some answers, is given the normal runaround.
He has no choice but to pitch a tent on the property that he still owns and live there while waiting for some answer on the grant to rebuild.

On December 21st of the past year, his 25 year old son committed suicide in this same trailer due to depression...or so was reported.

About the time I think my problems are bigger than they really are, I am humbled with a story like this one and can do nothing but be thankful for the blessings that I do have. Is your life a SNAFU??? Maybe rethink this idea and realize what really could happen in your life and live through it.  This is throwing yourself at the ground and missing for sure....nothing seems to go right...but his attitude is positive, somehow, and his faith is still strong. Or so it appeared. I don't know if I could act this way even if on camera... should these types of events happen to me!

A line has officially been drawn in the sand

Technology can sometimes go too far. I am a fan of all the modern devices and ease of finding information, communicating around the globe, watching videos of just about everything,etc.

I saw on the news today, a sad example though of taking technology to a ridiculous extreme. The state I live in has decided, in the past few years, to change it's primary income source. In the past, the economy here was based on cattle....then oil....and most recently....prisoners. Yep! It is a big industry here and is supported by the feds for funding. Jails here get over $100 a day for each and every prisoner and there are also other perks that are being taken advantage of. One example is food cost. The government pays around $5 a serving reimbursement for each tray of food served but actually costs only 50 cents a tray to feed each prisoner. Many counties here boast of a 98% conviction rate, which is ok I guess, but makes me question the innocent before proven guilty aspect of trial. How can 98% of everyone accused of anything be guilty? Appears the answer is BIG BUCKS for those convictions. A few years ago there were only 27 prisons in this state and now there are around 150!

Due to what is said to be risk factors and overcrowding, prisoners here will no longer be allowed to have any type of physical visit from family members! It was always hard enough on families to visit their convicted family members through a one inch thick plate of glass and communicate through a screened hole or a telephone. Now this will not even be allowed. For a cost of $20 a family can visit their inmates via video chat....much like Skype or one of those mediums. For those that cannot afford this fee, they can go to the jail and use the computer there but still no eye to eye contact. Not only can the state monitor all conversations, which could be a good thing sometimes, but would also be able to see into the HOMES of the families as well! This is infringement of personal privacy and freedom for the family members.

Whether the person incarcerated is guilty or not ...whether they deserve the punishment received or not...why should the family be punished as well and be charged MONEY for it? Another way to gather in more money for sure. You take just 100,000 prisoners in a years time that the family is spending $20 for this type of robot visitation once a month...well, you can do the math. It is not chump change.

Makes me wonder what is coming next with our freedom, rights and privacy with technology going too far. I believe this is drawing a line in the sand that can abscess into each and every persons life in the world. Once a window is opened, it can allow in just about anything. It is a scary thought of what is coming next for all of us.

Defining Music in My Life

Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of ... I Loved and Still Do!

1.Santana-1st album
2.Cream-Disreali Gears
3.Robert Johnson-The Complete Collection
4.Muddy Waters-The Plantation Recordings
5.Ten Years After-ssssssssh
6.Glenn Miller- The Chesterfield Kings recordings
7.Tommy Dorsey-Sing,sing,sing
8.Jefferson Airplane-Crown of Creation
9.Tennesee Ernie Ford-Shotgun Boogie
10.Moody Blues-Threshold of a Dream
11.Canned Heat-Fried Hockey Boogie
12.Jeff Beck-Truth
13.Willie Nelson-Red Headed Stranger
14.Jimi Hendrix-Electric Ladyland
15.Montoya-Malaguena


UPDATE
There is no way to do this in only 15 albums. So I feel the need for an add-on.

Jethro Tull-Stand up
Traffic-Dear Mr. Fantasy
Led Zeppelin- 1 & 2
Beatles-White Album
Procol Harum-Shine on Brightlly
ZZ Topp-Rio Grande Mud / Deguello
Jim Croce-Photographs and Memories
Fever Tree- debut album
Doors-Morrison Hotel
Blind Faith-only album
Big Brother and the Holding Company-Cheap Thrills

Just Thoughts About My Life

1) In December 1954, a fourteen year old girl got herself in trouble and I arrived 9 months later…been causing trouble ever since… but I thank God there were a couple of people that wanted me before I was born and had a great childhood and always felt wanted and loved
2) Spent the first year in St. Louis then bought some wings to fly down to Texas and been here since…can’t find the wings anymore though….oh well…guess my brother stole them and he is dead now…so I walk or drive
3) Boy Scouts was cool for the Girl Scout camp was on the other side of the river…never found a use for tying knots…or algebra for that matter…we all hold useless knowledge…eg: why do I still remember the words to the “Slinky” song
4) Peace, hippie, love, beads, bells, incense and Woodstock…the late 60’s and early 70’s were GREAT!!! Viet Nam was a negative and lost some loved people. But still love the era
5) I laugh when I see the peace symbols and bell bottoms once again and the new generation believes they have created something new and trendy…just like we did. Long hair was not a new idea and “revolution” certainly not.
6) I think mean people suck
7) I still like smoking…yeah I know… but I still do
8) I wanted to be a professional musician and came very close… my taste in music stayed the same but my hands didn’t. I wish when we got old enough to get our head together our body wouldn’t fall apart
9) For the last time…I never liked cocaine, only the way it smelled!!!
10) I don’t eat Brussels sprouts and beets anymore… both of my parents are dead and there is no one that can make me do it
11) I miss my parents
12) I like grandkids … all fun and no work…the curse WORKS!!! Ha ha kids. Payback time
13) When blind people clean their butt, how do they know when they’re finished?
14) Yes, I am still a Hippie. Only difference is we cut our hair and the rednecks grew theirs long…but the mindset is still the same and for the most part things are better. We all seem to accept each other and get along much better now
15) I ponder at times about the end times… is this it or just joking once again? I personally try to be ready, for I do not know for sure
16) When I see classic commercials, why do they look so ancient? But I remember when they were new! Oh-oh …I think I know
17) I still miss “Big Chief” tablets and a pencil covered with teeth marks and the eraser gone…but here I am on a computer
18) I have had many friends and more acquaintances and I have found the term “five finger friends” is very real. The friends you can really count on and can count on you, a person can count on one hand. I had my hand full but three died. I now have a peace sign once again. I hope before I leave the Earth I can fill the hand once again and be a part of someone else’s
19) I can throw myself at the ground and miss… don’t try this at home without the aid of a trained professional
20) Is Jimi Hendrix really dead or am I still trippin’
21) A good philosophy for life was penned by Mark Twain…”Forgiveness is the fragrance a violet sheds on the heel that has just crushed it”… I pray I walk that walk…but sometimes vengeance is fun and feels so good…ufffffffff….I will continue trying
22) I like dogs. I do not hate or dislike cats, but feel personally they are a bit like wet toilet paper...pretty much useless ... for me anyway. But God bless those that love them and own them so I don’t have to
23) My boss and friend Chris is the center of his own universe and will tell you so too…this is COOL…I can deal with this and appreciate honesty…I hate liars and snakes
24) Why are so many people like a used car appraiser? They see a “turd” first and see what they can make of it from there… it should be the other way around? Excluding the judicial system of course
25) I love red meat, cholesterol, saturated fat and fried food. All things bad for me. But I still can’t help but think about what last went pee pee on the sprouts or when yogurt goes bad, how do you know?

Live, Love Laugh Always

Live, Love Laugh Always

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . .. . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many ! *smiles*


Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short.
Dance naked. woo-hoo!

Funny Times These Days

Thought for the Day: Women have many faults and men have only two. Everything we say and everything we do.

In a world of bombings, terrorism, chemical weapons ( which I always thought were my Grandpa's farts but obviously is now more), vampires and demons in every arena of entertainment, children being rewarded just for participating, "time out" instead of correction (which makes me wonder about leadership's future) and a world of satellite steaming...where is this all going?

Why don't kids ever go outside to play anymore? I remember just going outside with a spoon and digging in the dirt and entertaining myself for hours. Now it is all video games, social media, television...with no creativity.

If two wrongs don't make a right, then how come three left's do?

Just a couple of thoughts to get this blog started. I am retired now from advertising and work at home full time so have much time on my hands. Thought I would start this blog just to write about the stupid crap I see and what is going on around us.