There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
"Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether"
Smile: if you can’t lift the corners, let the middle sag.
As the dog sat watching the orchestra, he stared at the conductor and thought.. "Just throw the F#!@%&! thing."
I had an embarrassing moment at WalMart today. Apparently, when the girl at the checkout said "Strip down facing me" She meant my debit card!
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